I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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