Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
