as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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