This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
