it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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