Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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