we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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