How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
