More tranny stories later!
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
