come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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