i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
3pm strippers are depressing
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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