I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
