I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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