i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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