You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Randomize
