She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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