I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize