i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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