'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Randomize
