How'd it feel making her break her religion?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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