I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I love having hate sex.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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