I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
