her vagine was all disorganized.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
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