so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
