I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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