Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
a search helicopter?!
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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