I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
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