after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
