i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
