I wish I only lived at night.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
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