think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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