Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
