I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize