we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
