Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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