I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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