After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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