Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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