Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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