i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I will pee on everything he values.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Randomize