i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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