How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
