if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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