I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I love having hate sex.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Randomize