YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
