i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Everclear isn't food dammit
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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