Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize