wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
