Midget sex pt 2 tonight
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize