Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
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I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
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