Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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