the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Randomize
