Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
