the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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