you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
