the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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