dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
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