i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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